Smartphones for Dumbasses?

I do realise that there are people in the world today who suffer from short term memory problems.  Some of them even forget that they drive as soon as they are out of their cars and using their legs, on the rare occasions that said legs are used for something so strenuous as actually walking.

I also realise that it’s tantamount to heresy nowadays to not know exactly what’s going on in the world every second of every day and, to this end, it is obligatory to fire up your smartphone at every available opportunity just in case you may miss something terribly important (especially as passing things on by word of mouth and <shock horror> actually interacting with others seems to be so terribly old fashioned). But – a word of caution – it’s a pretty good idea to be aware of your surroundings when indulging in the aforementioned activities just in case, oh I don’t know, someone may be trying to reverse their car out of a tight parking spot.  In cases such as this, it’s possible – just possible – that the driver of such a vehicle may be quite busy trying not to bump or scratch the car that’s parked oh so close to one side whilst simultaneously trying to avoid backing into the car which is parked (correctly) behind them across the (very small) car park.  In fact, the driver of that vehicle may be more intent on keeping an eye on these other vehicles than they are on you wandering aimlessly behind them, pecking away at the screen of your smartphone, and into their path.  It would be a reasonable assumption that having just got out of your own vehicle, you may have a slight inkling how car parks work and would look out for your own safety – wouldn’t it?

And then, not content with nearly being squashed between two cars while you’re not taking any notice of where you are wandering, it’s totally acceptable to carry on and to then step out in front of the car which has just narrowly avoided reversing into you.  All the time while still with your eyes glued to the screen, instead of the path, in front of you.

I would consider it quite reasonable that the driver may perhaps say something through the open car window in a reasonable tone, such as “you may want to think twice about walking behind a car while it’s reversing” as you hastily jump back.  Up until this point, the driver of the car may be in quite an unusually (for her) decent mood and not at all in her usual cross, aggressive, shouty, sweary mood.  I would posit that it would therefore be singularly unwise to sigh loudly and say “go on then” whilst waving your free hand to indicate that the car may as well drive on its merry way, leaving you free to continue wandering aimlessly towards the gym.  It was obviously very surprising really that the driver didn’t immediately remove themselves from your sight.  Oh – maybe that would be because they were waiting for another car reversing out of a parking space in their path. (And, by the way, you’re welcome for having been saved from walking right behind a second reversing car).

And when the driver of the first car says “I’m waiting” after having been regally dismissed by yourself and indicates the second reversing car that you have yet to notice, perhaps you may have wanted to hold your stupid tongue and think things through instead of saying in a snotty voice “there’s no need to be rude”.  Was it a total surprise that you heard the driver reply “no need to be fucking stupid either”?

Did it even occur to you that you may have been in the wrong?  Or were you too offended that someone actually had the audacity to call you out on your stupid behaviour?  The fact that they were polite won’t have even made a dent on your blank staring ignorance as I’m sure you were too annoyed about having had to lift your eyes from your phone screen for all of 2 seconds.

I’m sure that karma will come around and kick your arse soundly for you.  I only hope that the poor sod who may be concentrating on their own safety and doesn’t see you next time and who quite possibly may inflict some serious physical damage on you doesn’t blame themselves too much because, quite frankly, when it comes down to it – you really don’t deserve the consideration.



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