Not Today

Today I do not want to play.

I have occasional days like this.  Some say they get out of bed on the wrong side.  My mother used to have an expression: “I could fight with a feather” but it’s not one of those days.

Today I am tired.

I’m tired of having to get out of bed 5 days a week to go to work (although I am always grateful that I have a job which pays the bills)

I’m tired of rude, ignorant and inconsiderate people and those who seem to feel that they’re so much more important than everyone else.

I’m tired of seeing cars being driven by idiots who should be old enough to know better (and by those youngsters who obviously haven’t suffered any serious incidents because of their behaviour)

I’m tired of feeling as though I’m pushing a boulder up a hill trying to improve my fitness, to find that the smallest gain is often followed by a larger setback because of one small lapse in judgment (although it doesn’t stop me trying)

I’m tired of having a few good days where I feel OK and can get on with life and then having a day where I can barely drag myself out of bed and feel like crap.  But I still do it.

To smile is an effort.  To try and resemble a human being to my colleagues rather than a grunting Neanderthal is exhausting.

As it has done so many times in the past, I know it will pass and I will return to normality, probably by tomorrow.  But for today, I’m just ……





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