Contrary to the grumpy old bugger that I appear to be in most of my posts, I’m a pretty optimistic and laid back individual most of the time and it really doesn’t take much to make me happy or to bring a smile to my face.
On the other side of the coin, I am quite easy to offend. I don’t lose my temper easily but apparently can be quite scary when I’m cross – it’s the look in my eyes I’m told. I think I inherited that from my mother – she could look quite formidable when crossed. I know the look well – I invoked it on many an occasion but I’m sure some of those tales will follow in another blog.
Like most folks I do, occasionally, wake up in a mother of a bad mood. It’s not that I get out of bed on the wrong side. I like to switch things up a bit and vary the side I get out of bed but sometimes I just wake up grumpy. There are other times when I get out of bed and it’s a bit like Snow White’s awakening: birds lifting up the duvet and fluttering around tweeting happily with me gliding out from under the covers with a smile on my face. See – eternal optimist.
So here are my lists of things that cheer, irritate or amuse me:
Simple things that make me happy:
- someone holding their hand up to say thank you when I pull over to let them through a gap;
- my cats sitting on the other side of my front door to greet me when I come home because they’ve heard me pull into the drive;
- someone walking a dog which looks particular cute and adorable;
- the sight of my horse lifting his head and pricking his ears towards me in the paddock when I call his name;
- the gentleman who always says “good morning” with a smile to me when I cycle past him in the morning on my way to work – and his dog who always seems to be pleased to see me. See – simple things;
- people exercising common sense (that’s a biggie);
- when someone says “thank you” and means it;
- A nice glass full of ice cold Stoli vodka, just when I’m in the mood for it (which, I have to say, is rare but it happens occasionally!);
- Snuggling under a freshly laundered duvet on a cold night after a really busy day;
- Cute cat videos on YouTube (doesn’t everyone love those?)
Silly things that irritate me beyond belief and make me grumpy:
- People who walk towards you 2 or 3 abreast on the pavement and make way for you by twitching a shoulder. Precisely one inch to one side;
- Folks walking along with headphones plugged in, usually in the middle of the pavement, texting away on their mobile phones. And then get a shock when they nearly walk into you. Like they’re the only person in the world;
- Other folks texting/surfing the ‘net on their smartphones whilst riding a pushbike. With no hands obviously. And also without taking any notice of where they’re going;
- The sound of a motorbike away in the distance obviously having the bollocks driven out of it;
- Children playing somewhere nearby where one of them screams like they’ve been run through with a sword and it’s only because they’re excited. Or hyper. Or something. Can someone please relate the story of “The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf to these kids?
- The stupid drivers who insist on sitting precisely two inches from my rear bumper in heavy traffic;
- Drivers who play the music in their cars at high volume with the bass on full. Right up to their front door. And usually with the chuffing windows open;
- People driving around a residential area far too fast. Doesn’t matter whether there are children playing or not – this just bugs the **** out of me.
- My alarm going off on a Monday morning. Or any weekday morning really.
- Whistling. I really don’t know what it is about this particular thing that sets my teeth on edge but it seems to raise me to a distinctly psychopathic level of annoyance first thing in the morning. Just saying.
Things that don’t particularly affect my mood, but make me chuckle anyway. Usually in a very dry and wry way:
- The tosser in a BMW/Merc/Audi (delete as appropriate) that screams past you only for you to catch them up at the next set of traffic lights;
- Overtaking someone who’s going just that little bit under your ideal speed, only to have them catch you up at the next set of traffic lights. And be ahead in the other lane!